Often people ask me how I became involved in helping other people. Until quite recently I had been “The Reluctant Healer” scared of stepping forward and claiming my knowledge and power.
My journey started in Greenford, Middlesex just on the outskirts of London. My parents had both been affected by the war. My father was Polish and had been in a Russian Gulag or Work Camp where they build the Siberian Railway. He escaped by walking out through Siberia in the winter. He was an amazing survivor. My mother lived in London during the blitz and so survived the trauma of bombs being dropped around her home. Looking back I can see my father suffered from PTSD which of course then was untreated. My early life was unremarkable, lacking in emotional warmth but without any particular trauma.
That changed when I was 14 years old when I was raped by a gang of five and the rape was orchestrated by a woman. It left me traumatised and completely shattered emotionally and mentally and for many years I was scared to go anywhere or talk to anyone. Like many survivors of trauma, especially rape, I thought that in some way it must have been my fault, so like many others before me I chose not to tell anyone for around 20 years. The experience coloured my life and relationships and prevented me from behaving as the loving caring woman I was destined to be.
I found solace in animals and the countryside and ended up living on a remote croft in Scotland with no running water or electricity. A paradise for someone who was still afraid of the world.
The next major trauma was having a hysterectomy at 31 and being diagnosed with cancer of the cervix afterwards. It was too late for a surgical option so I was given radiotherapy and caesium implant treatment where they insert a probe to deliver radiotherapy locally. I was left on the machine too long and the treatment burnt my bowel. I needed bowel surgery and had a stoma bag for 6 months. That was one of the lowest parts of my life and without my daughter who was 7 at the time, I wouldn’t be here now. I ended up having 5 major operations to repair the damage and the scarring was extensive. I was given HRT for two years, then taken off it as it was felt at that time there were risks to taking it.
At 32 years old, I felt like a 60 year old and it seems as if life as I knew it was over. I had been very active, a keen hill walker and rider but after the surgery, I could barely stand up. Within 5 years my marriage had ended and I was starting along a new path of recovery.
I trained in Structural Integration first, going across to America to complete the training. The bodywork helped enormously but my body couldn’t hold the changes. A few years later I discovered acupuncture and trained in this at what was The College of Traditional Acupuncture in Leamington, travelling from Aberdeen for each session. Acupuncture changed things a lot too but my Tutor at that time recommended that I trained in Healing as well, so I started training with the College of Healing in Malvern in 2003. All of this work helped me enormously and when I look back to the broken, fragmented person I was, I am amazed by the strength, compassion and sense of unconditional love that I have for humanity now. My experiences have helped to mould me into the person I am now and it is my experience and depth of knowledge that allows me to help others so effectively.
I am so thankful that I have had teachers through my journey who have helped me to grow and change. Now they have developed plant-based Body Identical HRT, I have been able to take that too and I feel amazing. I now feel 20 years younger than my age and am able to appreciate my journey into wholeness.